Can you guess the silliest phrase I’ve heard spoken in a porn movie this week? I bet you can! If you can’t, or you just need to hear it spoken yourself before you can believe it, check out scene 5 of Naughty College School Girls #6. Note that, puzzlingly, it is spoken by noted tool Dillon while he has his boom stick in Patrice McKenzie’s vagina, confirming reports that Dillon doesn’t know which end of a woman is up.
“Lynn Lemay is sending me pictures of your schlong,” I said to porn personality “Tampa” Tony Batman. Since I don’t usually write about gay porn, and since couples’ porn is more theory than reality (porn won’t last long without a healthy sense of shame), I don’t usually get pictures of schlongs in my Inbox.
“It was my first time,” Batman responded, “so she thought she’d send a press release.”
Lynn Lemay is an AVN Hall of Fame performer. Now in her 50’s, she has formed LeMayzing Pictures and has released several films full of juicy, sun-ripened California girls reminiscent of Lemay herself. “Malibu Daughters” is the best known so far, but “Phoenix: Risen from the Ashes” is said to be the second to last movie Lemay will appear in whilst perpetrating the sexiness.
…you should watch First Time Ball Busters. Why? Well, once you get over the fact that it’s a bunch of footage of girls punching a guy in the balls, the experience gets interesting. It gets hot in a weird way – not necessarily jacking-off hot, but certainly fascinating. For one thing, it’s fun to watch the girls go from reluctant to experimental to enthusiastic. Amy Ried goes from asking if he’s okay to asking if he’s going to cry like a big sissy, and the other girls follow a similar arc. The other thing is, as strange as it is, the guy is clearly getting off on it – no guy would take that kind of abuse to his balls unless there was something in it for him. With both parties enjoying what’s going on, it’s hard not to watch the whole thing. Plus, it has Amy Ried, Sasha Grey, Maya Hills, and Cherry Poppens in it. Against all odds, First Time Ball Busters is one of the few movies i wouldn’t mind seeing a sequel to.
20,851,820/303,362,000ths of the US population – just under one-fifteenth, if you like your fractions simpler – has just been told by the Fifth Circuit Court of Appeals that it can go fuck itself. the long national nightmare is over, or at least the long Texan nightmare is over – it is officially permissible, just in time for Valentine’s Day, for Texans to purchase and own sex toys. The Fifth, in deciding that the “Texas statute impermissibly burdens the individual’s substantive due process right to engage in private intimate conduct of his or her choosing”, said that individuals can now legally use a safe sexual device during private intimate moments alone or with another. Huzzah!
New York-born Pistol, best known for his work with Joanna Angel’s Burning Angel and now with Naughty America met Gia Paloma almost two years ago and now the pair are married – and pregnant.
“I was worried about telling him,” Paloma said, who found out she was pregnant at the beginning of December.
To look at the couple is to see a pair of young people that old people like instantly. Even Paloma’s constantly-changing hair and piercings would doubtless win over nursing home residents eventually. Until they saw her movies, that is. Then they would probably die.
But the fact remains that Paloma and Pistol, or Pistoloma, as the tabloids have dubbed them, are Gamelink’s Valentine’s Day couple for 2008. We like them a lot. And we hope Pistol’s leg gets better in time to run out for bon bons at 3 a.m.