Jesse Jane and Teagan – together again! If only Tera had shown up

teagan and jesse

Don’t believe the hype about “Pirates II: Stagnetti’s Revenge.” Just get the movie. It’s a keeper, and a movie that, with its precursor, occupies its own tiny niche of Blockbuster Porn. Sometimes blockbusters don’t do everything they should, but “Pirates II” does some things really well. In that way it is the porn equivalent of “Pearl Harbor”; narratively suspect, expensive, all over the place, but a technical milestone.

And the sex scenes? Excessive in just the right way. The theatrical version features some editing we don’t normally see in sex scenes – good editing. The bonus DVD features these same scenes except 20 minutes longer. It almost doesn’t seem like that would even be fun

Here we see Teagan interviewing Jesse Jane at the premiere this weekend. Teagan starred in the first “Pirates” and is now a free agent. I never thought of her as an interviewer before, but she is very good at it. Jesse Jane, of course, is as well-spoken as Tera Patrick at these events. See? All the Digital Playground girls made good.

Buy “Pirates II: Stagnetti’s Revenge” here
Buy “Pirates” here

How To Slop Your Ass

Posted on September 26th, 2008 in ass by Gram

BSA

As America’s Beloved Porn Journalist and a faithful Gamelink employee, it is my job to humanize the adult industry and make it accessible to you, even as it gets slipperier and slipperier.

The standard agent for making one’s ass shiny for porn titles like “Big Sloppy Asses” is baby oil. Smarter directors wipe the baby oil off before actual sex happens so that the male talent doesn’t take a running jump at the female performer and slide off.

This movie packs much back. In fact, what I at first thought were Jayden James‘ and Alexis Texasankles under the title are in actuality three more asses.

Also, the initials of this title are those of the Boy Scouts of America. Last I checked, however, there were no merit badges in Ass Slopping.

Watch Big Sloppy Asses here.
Buy Big Sloppy Asses here.

Finally, A Way To Knock That Last One Out Before Christmas With The Folks

Posted on September 25th, 2008 in Porn Thoughts by P. Weasels

This MSNBC article is the perfect beginning to the holiday season. Used to be, when you’d been in the air for forty or fifty minutes and you didn’t want to leave your seat to jack off, you had to be all like “hey, look, a squirrel” to your seatmate and hope she fell for it while you looked at the MILFs in the Skymall catalog. HA! Sayonara, low-tech midair masturbation!

Worst Porn Name Ever

Posted on September 23rd, 2008 in Pornstars by P. Weasels

Or at least high on the list:

How, even if you don’t speak English, do you get talked into being Boroka Balls?

Audrey Hollander channels everybody’s favorite redhead

Posted on September 23rd, 2008 in ass,Porn People by Gram

Audrey

Audrey Hollander is currently shooting “This Ain’t I Love Lucy” or “Not I Love Lucy XXX” (however Hustler chooses to phrase it) in Porn Valley. When pressed to identify the few actual bombshells in the porn world, Audrey Hollander leaps to mind. If only her husband Otto Bauer weren’t such a stand up guy, I would encourage you to actively hate his guts.

As you can guess, Otto is playing Desi and Audrey will inhabit the role of Lucy. I think that, of all the parodies the big companies have been churning out lately, this one is the most inspired.

The picture you are looking at is a still from an upcoming Hustler Christmas movie, but I am assured that Hollander’s hair is set in the same style for “Lucy.”