Porn Problems

Posted on October 29th, 2008 in Porn Thoughts,Pornstars by P. Weasels

Do you suppose Nick Manning has ever just forgotten to say “Droppin’ Loads” and had to go back and reshoot his money shot?

I wonder.

Max Hardcore’s derailed Straight Down the Throat Express

Posted on October 23rd, 2008 in Celebrity Porn,Hardcore by Gram

mccain hardcore 08

Often enough, a porn performer will arrive at a filming location with her little airplane bag fulll of underpants and hair extensions and then be handed a script.

“Half the time I’d walk on a set I’d have no idea what the movie was or that it had dialogue,” Ava Rose once told me. “I only knew it would be a girl or a guy and I’d know what I’d be making for the scene.”

And, because performers’ legs spend so much time in the air in the porn industry, it is easy to believe that schedules are up in the air, too, and oftentimes a cast list can go kerblooey from one day to the next.

So it was that I was told Tuesday that Max Hardcore and Ginger Lynn would be playing John and Cindy McCain in a new Sarah Palin porno being shot in Porn Valley. “Amazing,” I said, America’s Beloved Porn Journalist. “Now that’s news.”

I rescheduled appointments so I could attend this blessed event. The next day I was told that the characters who were to play Palin, the McCains, and two or three other people in their entourage had all been recast in the space of 48 hours due to various porn fuckups.

“Max neglected to tell us that he had a court date on the shooting day,” someone connected with the production told me, which makes no sense to me. But relying on whether or not something makes sense is a foolish measure in the porn business.

It reminds me of other Might Have Been moments, like Buddy Ebsen as the original choice to play George Bailey in “It’s A Wonderful Life.”

Yes, exactly like that.

Thank God Jenna Jameson Is Out of Porn

Posted on October 20th, 2008 in Jenna Jameson by P. Weasels

Jenna Jameson actually looks human again in this picture of her and her incipient twins from her Myspace page.

Jenna Jameson pregnant

Sarah Palin Love Doll Arrives Safe and Sound

Posted on October 16th, 2008 in Sex Toys by P. Weasels

Sarah Palin Sex DollMy Sarah Palin Sex Doll arrived in the mail yesterday from Topco, as promised. I have not opened her yet – in any sense – but she is here on my desk. More information to follow as we become closer friends.

Big Boobs: Gamelink is America

Posted on October 15th, 2008 in Boobs,MILF,Porn News,Porn People by Gram

paylin

Gamelink was at the filming of Hustler’s “Who’s Nailin’ Paylin? Adventures of a Hockey MILF” and we asked star Lisa Ann to flash us with the American flag, displaying her wares for our approval.

And we said Yes.

PS: I thought this sort of thing wouldn’t happern in a Democratic administration, but I was wrong.