Getting all Robby D. on Stoya

Posted on November 25th, 2008 in Porn People,Pornstars by Gram
Bite my finger

Bite my finger

It was in a Robby D. video where I first felt like someone else’s P.O.V. didn’t necessarily reflect mine.

“I don’t talk that way,” I thought, watching Robby D.’s hand come out from behind the camera he was holding to paw at the talent.

Now don’t get me wrong, Robby D. is a fantastic – if prickly – director in many porn genres. I would just grow weary of his gonzo P.O.V. style – too talky and grabby.

So when I encountered the game and lovely Stoya in a bathroom the other day I asked her to show me what got Robby D. all mouth-breathey in those ancient “Jack’s Playground” videos.

OK. Now I get it.

Georgia Jones, Right in the Eye

Posted on November 25th, 2008 in Lesbians,Pornstars by Gram
Georgia Jones

Georgia Jones

It is a shame that we look at other parts first, but on people like Georgia Jones (and Sophie Dee), it is hard to miss the eyes.

Ms. Jones showed up at a comic book store in Hollywood where she posed with a document of disaffection and regret. Hard to say if she could relate, because we were in a hurry.

The Girls-Only Jones hails from Arkansas (just like Gauge – remember Gauge?) and has worked most notably for Michael Ninn.

See her movies here.

Truth in Advertising: “A Really Cheap Porn Movie!”

Posted on November 14th, 2008 in Amateur,Porn Thoughts by Gram

There should be a word for for a movie title that doubles as a review (Jennifer Lopez’ “Enough” comes to mind). But NPO’s “A Really Cheap Porn Movie!” is refreshingly self-deprecating if one starts with the premise that all porn is overhyped. It’s wonderful when one starts with low expectations and finishes (literally) with the idea that “this has successfully appealed to my need for low expectations.”

Director Craig Valentine makes no bones about not having the money or the interest in making something “good,” so he just films Ron Jeremy and a bunch of Florida-based nymphettes, some bonehead named Jimmy (he wears his swimming goggles through his scene and you know he thinks he looks cool in them), Brianna Beach, and Summer Haze canoodling.

The plot is that there is no plot. The bad camerawork is instantly explained away by the title. We are left with the type of movie that is the perfect thing to watch if you have never, ever seen a porn movie before, because once you’ve seen a second porn movie, something like this looks, by comparison, like it just didn’t try hard enough, which it didn’t. But it’s a good movie nonetheless – it’s just a little disconcerting because it doesn’t pretend to be anything else.

Watch “A Really Cheap Porn Movie” now.

Paging Dr. Simone (who is banging Lena Ramon)

Posted on November 14th, 2008 in fetish,Masturbation by Gram

“It’s like I’m trying to study,” Zenova Braden says to her therapist, Julie Simone, “and they’re all moaning and masturbating. I can’t take it anymore!”

Thus begins “Julie Simone’s Sex Addicts,” in which Simone, who last year relocated from Los Angeles and now lives in Missouri, must apply negative conditioning and aversion therapy in order to curb the lustful thoughts of Braeden’s filthy roommates.

This reminds me of a better-executed Jim Holliday movie, in which a demented but complex story is pulled off by game pornstresses. In the case of “Sex Addicts,” Lena Ramon and Ariel X, who play the reconditioned roommates.

As you can imagine, the therapy was never really meant to work. Clothespins, hot wax, and electric zapping don’t seem to help. I’d ask to see Dr. Simone’s medical credentials, but who’d listen? I don’t have boobs.

Watch “Julie Simone’s Sex Addicts” now.

Is that a … OH JESUS CHRIST

Posted on November 7th, 2008 in Blowjob,Boobs,Hardcore by Gram

bobbi and shane 1

Because my vision is nothing if not selective, the first thing I noticed in this picture was Bobbi Starr‘s thoughtful face and full, manageable breasts. But…what was…in her mouth?

Why, none other than the mammoth-cocked Shane Diesel, of course! I hesitated to post this picture because it simply doesn’t look like part of a human being in this photo as much as it does some kind of fleshy stalagmite that, for whatever reason, the considerate and kind Starr is gagging herself on.

bobbi and shane 2

In their scene together, Diesel and Starr roll up in his 6-4 and get busy. My purpose in actually wartching the scene was to see if that appendage hadn’t been Photococked to appear bigger.

It hasn’t. But the camera definitely got closer to force the perspective. Still, it’s huge.

bobbi and shane 3

Having never seen a Shane Diesel movie before, I wanted to make sure he was kind. Because Bobbi Starr is America’s Sweetheart. And he is. Diesel is very nice to her. That’s all that matters.

Watch Stretched Out Snatch 8 Now.