Nadya Suleman Plays the Porn Version of Strike and Counter Strike

Posted on February 26th, 2009 in Celebrity Porn,Porn Thoughts by P. Weasels

Nadya Suleman Octomom

Vivid, Pink Visual sees your $1 million and raises you…diapers?

In the wake of Vivid’s million dollar porn offer to OctoMom Nadya Suleman, another adult company has their hat in the ring with a counter offer. Pink Visual has put a year’s worth of diapers on the table – figuratively speaking – on the condition that Suleman not accept the Vivid offer.

This opens up a whole new world of exciting diplomatic maneuvering for porn companies to bid for the public’s attention. This is exactly the kind of thing you would think Hustler and Girls Gone Wild would be getting in on.

It is difficult to guess, only knowing Nadya Suleman through her few public actions, what she will choose to do. I suppose remaining above it all is an option, but it seems likely that her need to be noticed will trump any urge to maintain a dignified silence.

And what will she do if the offers get more attractive? Pink Visual’s offer already includes no porn at all – what if, for instance, Digital Playground chimes in with an offer for a non-sex role in return for being allowed to live rent-free in that house with the spiral staircase that Marco Banderas is always fucking people on?

What if Hustler offers her free Hustler apparel – eight sets of tiny T-shirts that say “Relax – It’s Just Sex”, in increasing sizes – in exchange for a denunciation of the healthcare system and support for Larry Flynt’s appeal to Congress for billions in bailout money?

I guess we’ll just have to wait and see.

Update: OctoMom turns down Vivid offer of $1 million to show her babymaker

“I think it’s kind of funny that I got offered a million dollars to make porn,” Suleman begins adding, “those guys at Vivid video must be nuts! Who wants to see me naked? Maybe in a year when the baby fat goes away.” she jokes.

Still, Octo-Mom admits she’d never let Vivid get off that cheap. “Of course, if I have more kids I may have to ask for two million dollars.”

More kids? Say what?!?!?!

Finding your motivation in a gangbang

Posted on February 25th, 2009 in gangbang,Porn Movies by Gram

Watch Whores D’oeuvre now | Buy Whores D’oeuvre now

In the big Blowjob Class Gangbang scene in Christoph Clark’s excellent Whores D’oeuvre, I caught out of the corner of my eye (I think it was my eye) the woman on the far left. She appears to be either saying “Who, me?” to the blonde dude across the room or else saying, “Look busy look busy look busy look busy Oh! Hold my own tits.”

I would like to think that any camera following me through a gangbang would never catch me looking anything but determined and confident but, as I always say, Who needs confidence when you’ve got boobs?

Ask anyone: I really do always say that.

OctoMom: Vivid’s Million Dollar MILF

Posted on February 25th, 2009 in Celebrity Porn by P. Weasels

You can say what you want about the ethical solvency of a woman who cranks out 14 babies in two batches when she knows she can’t support them all, but there is absolutely no doubt about Vivid‘s moral fiber. Not in my mind anyway.

The adult entertainment giant that brought you the first hardcore porn appearances of Kim Kardashian and Kelli McCarty has taken its first steps into the charity business, offering Nadya Suleman (or Solomon, or Dowd, or Guitierrez, depending on when you catch her) “up to a million dollars” to appear in a Vivid movie, and possibly more (including full medical and dental insurance) if she agrees to become a Vivid contract girl, thereby underwriting her quest to stay off welfare.

Nadya Suleman Octomom

A lot of questions, not all of them, perhaps, as serious as they might be, come to mind. Like how are the other Vivid Girls going to feel about this? Will the new entrance requirements for the most exclusive club in porn make the girls who are already there nervous?

If Nadya Suleman turns down the offer (or even if she takes it), will we see, in 10 or 11 months, a rash of multiple births starring women looking for a career in porn and a lifetime supply of medicine and fillings?

What will the subject of Nadya Suleman’s porn movie be about? Will it be a Paul Thomas comedy, or something with a plot? If she becomes a contract girl, will she be required to make 8 movies, each looking very much the same but having different names?

Suleman was reportedly already paid more than $300,000 for an appearance on NBC’s Today show, which means that Vivid estimates Nadya Suleman naked and fucking as worth up to something like $700,000. What activities does that break down to? Could she be giving a $100K blowjob? and what is the top money for? Would Vivid require her to do double anal for the big money?

Or is Vivid going to get her knocked up again and make a foray into preggo porn?

So many questions, not nearly enough answers.

No Mystery in Lindsey Meadows’ bikini

Posted on February 24th, 2009 in Amateur,Porn Movies by Gram

Lindsey Meadows
Watch Bikini Pick Ups Now | Buy Bikini Pick Ups Now

“I don’t have a lot of material,” says the delightful Lindsey Meadows in Bikini Pick Ups, an Adam & Eve movie shot guerilla-style like a Pink Visual movie. “But I can get another one if you need more coverage.”

Oh, no no no, Lindsey. That’ll do.

Oddly enough, I was talking to Meadows’ BFF, Ryder Skye, just yesterday about bikinis. Skye worked in a bikini bar called Cheetah’s in Los Angeles.

“Why would anyone go to a bikini bar?” I asked.

“They like the mystery,” Skye said.

I don’t understand people. You take the mystery. I like full insertion.

Anyway, Meadows is approached by Van Damage as she sunbathes on the beach. She seems game, her intoxicating late-night DJ voice gamely repeating his “bikini model” scheme back to him.

“75 bucks, huh?” she says. “Guess I gotta start somewhere.”

Well, they get her back to their studio, and it’s always a little bit weird – even in a movie where you know it’s all staged – to see the eager bikini model/actress/ingenue coaxed out of her clothes. But Meadows makes it easy.

Lindsey Meadows

Seeing Damage’s semi-choad in his pants, she says, “Did you grow that for me?”

I love, love, love Lindsey Meadows now, but it really was conditional on her taking the bikini off.

The Voyeur only wishes he were in Sadie West

Posted on February 24th, 2009 in Porn Movies by Gram

Sadie West hardcore movie
Watch “The Voyeur in Me” Now | Buy “The Voyeur in Me” Now

I think San Diego’s Sadie West is one of the most delicious new girls in porn. The New Sensations contract star works her ass off by appearing in nearly every movie the company produces, including an interesting exercise called “The Voyeur in Me.”

Sadie West movie

Director Eddie Powell simulates (without, thankfully, making us listen to any mouth breathing) the voyeur experience simply by capturing sex scenes through a doorway. So the voyeur isn’t actually in Sadie West (as the voyeur might have hoped): he is simply watching Tony DeSergio be in Sadie West.

Sadie West

Still, the five scenes are shot quite artfully and we do get the sense of a furtive perv who happened upstairs with his camera on and his boundaries off. The couple share tender moments on the bed (we get the impression that they’ve stolen away from the party thumping below) and just as quickly leave.