Katoey captures crown in cock-and-cleavage contest

Posted on May 11th, 2009 in Shemale by Gram

Ladyboy beauty pageant

That there is a Most Beautiful Ladyboy competition in Thailand is not, and should not be, a surprise to cosmopolitan Gamelink readers. But I am surprised that a legitimate journalist (as opposed to, say, me) for Australia’s Courier & Mail got away with the following line in describing 20-year-old Sorrawee Nattee’s win:

Sorrawee took the top prize at Miss Tiffany’s Universe 2009 in the beach resort of Pattaya, beating off 29 other transsexuals and receiving a small Honda car, and 100,000 baht ($AU3800) in cash on Friday night.

Really? “Beating off 29 other transsexuals”? Can’t you be content with the fact that you don’t have to cover human rights abuses in Liberia and refrain from going for the joke?

Ladyboy beauty pageant

(Unless Nattlee actually did have to jerk off her competition, in which case more power to her.)


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See also: Miss Tiffany’s Universe 2009 ladyboy crowned in Thailand

A Shot to the Mouth – and you’re to blame

Posted on May 8th, 2009 in Porn Movies by Gram

cumshot movie
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“Boy, that sure sounds like a porn movie,” I said when I received A Shot to the Mouth — a movie featuring 80 oral cumshots and which features a bejizmed Ashlynn Brooke on the cover. “But it probably isn’t, since millennial culture tells us to doubt the obvious.”

Instead, I reasoned, it was probably some gritty neo-noir about the boxing industry, like “The Wrestler.”

But no, my rational self countered, it came in a box with a bunch of other porn movies. It’s probably a porn movie itself.

“No way, Dude,” I said, “A title like Shot to the Mouth is too on the nose – or all over the mouth – for a porn movie. It’s probably some Michael Moore wakeup call about the commercial dentistry.”

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I guess all these thoughtful, brainy porns like “Dirtpipe Milkshakes” and anything with Madison Young in have made me doubt myself.

Because yes, A Shot in the Mouth is a porn movie about women gettting jizz bombs dumped on them.

(And I must say it is pretty great. With each scene clocking in at around two minutes with nothing but what led directly to the money shot, each segment is, pardon the expression, the cream of the movie it was taken from.)

Go figure.

Disoriented: The round-eye experience in Asian porn

Posted on May 7th, 2009 in Porn Movies by Gram

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When removing from its delicate seaweed packaging Adam & Eve’s Chock Full of Asians 3 a compilation featuring Jandi Lin, Katsuni, Lana Croft, Mika Tan, Mya Luanna, and Tia Tanaka, among others, I was surprised to also see the names Aiden Starr and Cytherea.

They’re not Asian,” I said, checking my vast library of DNA samples.

So I determined to see if there were telltale signs of a cultural divide between the Asian performers and their white devil counterparts.

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Things were lopsided from the beginning. In a scene from Hot Squirts 3, Cytherea and Lily Thai play chefs who don’t seem to do any baking. But they do cover each other in whipped cream.

I was on this set when the movie was shot three years ago, and director Roy Karch was saying, “I called the agency looking for girls who squirted, and she said she could squirt,” he said, referring to Thai. “But she doesn’t squirt at all.”

This is true, though Cytherea squirts enough for the two of them.

Was Cytherea a second class citizen in this movie? Well, yes, in that she did twice the work.

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Next, Tricia Oakes and Aiden Starr join Jandi Lin in a scene from Kylie Ireland’s Bitch & Moan 2 in which the threesome desecrate blowup dolls and each other. But Jandi Lin does not impose her worldview on Starr or Oakes, unless by “impose her worldview on” you mean “fucks” and, in that case, yes, she does impose her worldview on them.

The final scene is one between Katsuni and Sascha. The scene is not from another movie. In fact, it is called “New Scene.” Looks like Katsuni is no longer with her former studio.

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I guess that this movie doesn’t actually say anything about Asians’ relationship with each other or the rest of the world. Adam & Eve even missed the opportunity to call it “Wok Full of Asians.” Porn always surprises me when it shows restraint. (But then, those Asians are mysterious.)

Boxcover of the Week: “I <3 Redheads”

Posted on May 6th, 2009 in Porn Movies by Gram

loveredheads
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The genius of porn is that you can look at this photo of Scarlett Fay and immediately suspend at least four very compelling questions that might, if they were posed to someone without her boobs out, be cause for her termination as your housekeeper:

1. Why is she sitting on a table?
2. Why the high heels on that ratty frathouse-looking rug?
3. Anybody clean those blinds lately?
4. Did she forget how to put on her pants?

But Scarlett Fay just looks so accessible up there on that rickety table we got from your grandmother that I’m going to ask you to bring the rest of the groceries in while I see if her ass makes a tupperware sound when it makes it all of the way out of these jeans.

Browse more Scarlett Fay movies @ Gamelink

Memphis Monroe is here for her Crumb

Posted on May 5th, 2009 in Porn Movies by Gram

Memphis Monroe
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R. Crumb art drawing

You know that R. Crumb would want to jump all over Memphis Monroe in this picture, taken from Flexible Positions 2. Monroe, ripe for a black and white line art drawing here is a little more ripply in motion than Crumb would like, I think, but the perspective is perfect.