Rachel Rotten, the Armenian Odalisque

Posted on June 15th, 2009 in alt porn,Porn Movies by Gram

Rachel Rotten
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Rachel Rotten was probably the last of those millennial porn creations characterized by the woman taking the surname of the dude who discovered her; in this case, Rob Rotten.

In The Best of Rachel Rotten this hybrid of Betty Page, Iggy Pop, System of a Down, and Ingres performs in several dirty scenes that show off her elongated body and vaguely nightmarish sexiness.

The Rotten couple are no longer together, but Rob provides commentary throughout this compilation, and occasionally you can hear him being wistful – if one can be wistful simultaneously with terrified.

Scarlett Pain, Just Because

Posted on March 24th, 2009 in alt porn,Porn Movies by P. Weasels

I liked Scarlett Pain‘s scene from Rob Rotten’s Bong Load Girls so much that I just had to go back and watch it again. And here are some more pictures of Scarlett, seen here masturbating…

scarlett-pain-1
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…masturbating some more…

scarlett-pain-2

…and giving lucky Rob a blowjob when he gets home to apologize for wearing herself out masturbating so much.

scarlett-pain-3
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Bong Load Girls: Yes Please

Posted on March 18th, 2009 in alt porn,Blowjob,Porn Movies by P. Weasels

I don’t smoke pot and never have. I don’t even know how to smoke pot, but if I wanted to learn, I could get a good start by watching Bong Load Girls, new from Rob Rotten and Punx Productions (which does not condone or advocate drug use). However, if I were going to do that, I would have to pay more attention to the pot-smoking and less to the Bong Load Girls themselves, and I am really not ready to do that.

Not smoking pot has put me in a lifestyle that does not include a lot of girls who look like Jeanie Marie Sullivan, with her scarlet hair and her pouty, bleary demeanor, which is a shame because I do dearly love a girl with crazy-colored hair and a penchant for blowjobs.

bong-load-girls-1-jeanie-marie
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If I were a master of pot lore and a stoner extraordinaire, I would have access to girls like Jamie Elle, who would not even go close to the weird no-pot-smoking guy next door until he put on a Rasta hat with fake dreads and smooth-talked his way into her pants.

bong-load-girls-2-jamie-elle

And I would be able to come home to a girl like Scarlett Pain, who spends her day smoking dope and masturbating to fantasies of even more Bong Load Girls having lesbian sex and using her bong as a dildo but still has time to give a nice welcoming blowjob to the man of the house after a long day.

bong-load-girls-3-scarlett-pain
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Oh, for my misspent youth.

MMMM…More Punk Babes

Posted on January 29th, 2009 in alt porn by P. Weasels

Page Morgan and Chapel Waste from Vivid‘s King Cobra.

Page Morgan

Chapel Waste

I do not love them as much as I love Mandy Morbid, but i crave them in a different way.

MMMM…Mandy Morbid

Posted on January 28th, 2009 in alt porn,Boobs by P. Weasels

After watching Mandy Morbid in Kimberly Kane’s Live In My Secrets and Hospital, both from Vivid-Alt, I am in love with her unbelievably ripe and luscious body.

Mandy Morbid

After reading her blog, I want to get a Wii, learn how to play it, find out what games she likes, get really good at them, find a way to meet her, play games with her (probably while sneaking looks at her as she jumps around, which I understand you do with Wiis), buy her some sort of stuffed animal that is really weird but still cute, like a leather pig wearing a flying helmet or something, and just, you know, bask near her.

Mandy Morbid