As America’s Beloved Porn Journalist and a faithful Gamelink employee, it is my job to humanize the adult industry and make it accessible to you, even as it gets slipperier and slipperier.

The standard agent for making one’s ass shiny for porn titles like “Big Sloppy Asses” is baby oil. Smarter directors wipe the baby oil off before actual sex happens so that the male talent doesn’t take a running jump at the female performer and slide off.

This movie packs much back. In fact, what I at first thought were Jayden James‘ and Alexis Texas‘ ankles under the title are in actuality three more asses.

Also, the initials of this title are those of the Boy Scouts of America. Last I checked, however, there were no merit badges in Ass Slopping.

Watch Big Sloppy Asses here.
Buy Big Sloppy Asses here.

Popularity: 30% [?]

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The Germans have a word for wanting someone to lose, schadenfraude, but do they have one for wanting someone to win? It has to be something better than fahrvegnugen. Anyway, we want April Flores to win, Win, WIN, and as such she and photographer husband Carlos Batts are featured in “The Hustle,” a gallery show at New York’s Powerhouse Arena that pairs dozens of artists with their muses. An article in the London Telegraph said that Flores lit up the opening as only someone who makes people swoon at the tiniest application of lipstick can do.

“The Hustle,” which also features tributes to Vanessa Del Rio, Tupac Shakur, and King Ad-rock, continues to July 13.

Popularity: 30% [?]

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When I was a child and would be taken to church, there were always certain Ladies whose pocketbooks spilled over with lipstick-smeared Kleenex. One Easter, as the third altar boy passed out from the heat (the church was always overcrowded and hot on Easter), I started feeling woozy myself and had a dream on my feet. The dream was that my mouth was being stuffed with wad after wad of cosmetics-smeared lipstick. I managed to stay vertical, but just barely.

Staying vertical was on my mind as I encountered April Flores and La Cholita, two womanly women appearing in the soon-to-be-released “Kiss Attack” from Adam & Eve’s Independent Adult Cinema.

“We need to look vibrant when we go out,” said La Cholita, a burlesque dancer who, even fully dressed, leaves nothing to the imagination.

I have to tell you, my friends, that if church was full of Ladies like this, I wouldn’t be in porn.

Popularity: 35% [?]

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The more I talk with fans, the more I’m convinced of the fact that their taste in porn develops over time - so they might not actually recognize stars, but they certainly recognize body type.

Former performer Lynn LeMay is now a director, and she tends to cast women reminiscent of her own career: not so innocent, wholesome with a twist, and juicy. The dialogue in her “Malibu Daughters” won’t send you to check your dictionary every ten minutes, but it does reassure us that the 80’s and 90’s style of porn - less thinking, more romping - is alive and well.

Find Lynn LeMay’s movies here

Popularity: 38% [?]

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