Considering the fact that Cassandra Calogera lives in Southern California, she probably doesn’t stop traffic the way she would if she lived in New York. That is because Los Angeles drivers just don’t stop unless there is a Jack in the Box or fatality involved. But I can guarantee you that if Cassandra Calogera crossed the street in my home town of Bogue Chitto, planes would crash. And this is also probably why Calogera left her birthplace of Hartford. That and because Hartford is a horrible place.

There are those with limited imaginations who would call Calogera a BBW. But she doesn’t have that BBW sassiness borne of saying things like, “You ain’t never gonna get it this good again, honey.” Instead, Calogera is a larger, full-figured girl the way the women on “Mad Men” are. I have a manageable crush on her.

It is interesting that scene partner Anthony Rosano says her name over and over in their scene together; he can’t believe his good luck.

Buy “I Love Cassandra”

Popularity: 31% [?]

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Doubtless you’ll be pleased to know that most women in porn are so small that one’s dick always looks big. Furthermore, I have yet to see a porn starlet burst into shrieks at the size of her partner’s schlong. At the very least, they are paid not to burst into shrieks.

But if comparisons are to your liking (without necessarily going into the blatant “big black dicks in tight white holes” thing), you might enjoy Vivid’s “Big Dick Little Jane” series, in which women who fall below five feet (and the gimmick is that there is a measuring stick right there!) are paired with rope-schlonged bruisers. Why it is called “Little Jane” is unclear to me, but understanding things is overrated.

Here we see Cristina Agave with Chris Charming. Both at first seem utterly disinterested in the other, but then they realize that there is something that brings them together: a paycheck! Romance ensues.

As far as our vaunted industry has come, I doubt we will see a Big Girls/ Small Dicks movie any time soon.

Buy “Big Dick, Little Jane 2″ here.

Popularity: 27% [?]

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As tolerant and free-spirited as the porn world is perceived to be, titles like this one, in which the tasty likes of Memphis Monroe, Maya Gates, and Sandra Romain have to be determined “cum worthy” before being allowed to be the surface for an ejacuload, prove that we still have a long way to go before women are considered equal.

I long for a day when terms like “cum worthy” are redundant because everyone is cum worthy. At least that’s what I’ll say at the Democratic National Convention in August.

Popularity: 34% [?]

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The newest faux reality project to hit the adult world is the story of the Vivid remake of the 1972 classic porn “Deep Throat” that will star Sasha Grey. A Showtime crew is following the production in the same manner they did for the “Debbie Does Dallas…Again” shoot last year, with hopes of creating a behind the scenes porn series fraught with comedy, drama, and nudes.

But whereas the narrative conflict scripted for “Debbie” pitted Vivid president Steve Hirsch against director Paul Thomas and featured a B story of Vivid-alt director Eon McKai making his own version of “Debbie,” the “Throat” story sets Vivid against Arrow Productions, which owns the copyright of the original film.

Having worked in reality television in another life, I remember being shocked when I learned that reality TV wasn’t real, and that
stories were nudged and edited and invented. And, as is often the case, the real story is better. After all - it’s porn! What could have been a wildly entertaining and educational opportunity for Vivid was instead watered down by the Showtime production. The reality series made Vivid look like a company that had no good reason to not burn to the ground.

So I was dubious when I heard Showtime and Vivid were teaming up again. I talked with Showtime director Michael Call.

“Is this real reality or scripted reality?” I asked.

“We’re trying to capture everybody as naturally as we can,” he said. “But some situations seem more natural than others.”

As the show is still in production, a lot of that narrative finessing will happen in the editing room.

Robert Interlandi, marketing director for Arrow and whose father, Paul, owns the Las Vegas-based company, told me that Arrow is actively hunting down companies that have illegally used the “Deep Throat” name in porn movies.

“We sent a letter to a guy last year and made him change the name of his movie,” he said. “It used to be ‘Deeper Throat [something]‘ and we made him take out the ‘Deep Throat’ reference.”

Call told me that some of the characters in the movie were “unintentionally funny.”

The Showtime series will follow both companies as they remake “Deep Throat,” but I wonder where the conflict is if, in order to use the “Deep Throat” name, Interlandi says that Vivid must pay him.

“In fact, we have to approve the Vivid film before they release it,” he said. I asked him to repeat this because it seemed out of the ordinary.

“They’ve got Sasha Grey,” Interlandi said. “Everybody knows her. I’m looking for the next Linda Lovelace. We’ve already had a casting call.”

Assuming that Arrow wants a new Linda Lovelace who will embody that late celebrity’s enthusiasm and become a household name rather than turn her back on the adult industry and accuse it of forcing her to have sex, I’m behind that.

Arrow, based in Las Vegas, is also capitalizing on “Deep Throat” with a new energy drink, which they call “Deep Throat Energy Drink” (”Keep it up ALL Night”). I took a sip, noticing no immediate erection. But then, it was the day time. It tastes like Rockstar Energy Drink, but it definitely does not taste like coercion.

Popularity: 51% [?]

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