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At once the most satisfying and irritating scene in Daring’s “Sticky Knickers” is the final one. Director Macondo has heretofore in the film put together some raunchy couch-based hardcore with your usual raft of stick-figure Europeans (actually, they tend to get encouragingly fleshier as the movie progresses) and then comes the final scene with these two women, a sort of Abbott and Costello except you want to airlift your heavy balls to them.
I’m not sure if that meant sense. I’m just saying that Berlin, too, was in Europe.
All anyone wants in the final scene is just that the camera stays still, but it doesn’t. It is like Eon McKai directed this scene, with no consideration for the person watching the movie. A freeze frame is alll I can provide you. I pray that you have a better DVD player than I do.
Download “Sticky Knickers” here.
Popularity: 19% [?]
Not that she’d do it, but I think that if Belladonna said, “Grams, I am going to steal your car and total it in Mexico,” I would seriously think about letting her do it. That’s how charming she is.
This is why we can forgive anything, and willingly suspend our disbelief, when she asks us to accept that she, Dana DeArmond, and Bobbi Starr are having a sleepover truth or dare session when any goddamn person knows that none of those people needs the pretense of a “dare” to do any of the filthy things they do on this 2-disc set. Especially when it is clearly broad daylight.
I suppose the American Sleepover Truth or Dare Council might be peeved, but I expect you to roll right over this. I mean, look at how happy they are.
In the extensive research undertaken to provide just the right title for this shameless display of porno-Sapphic exertions, I happened on this very funny animation to the O’Jays’ song “Love Train.”
(Look at it here.)
Buy “Girl Train” here.
Popularity: 55% [?]
The porn star Cassidey is a fascinating person. Mercurial! Loopy! Dangerous! Once a Vivid girl, once a Ninnworx girl, Cassidey made a movie for the latter company before it imploded that gives her the full “Gia”-esque glam-predatrix treatment, which seems apt. I hope she comes by and visits us at Gamelink to upend our sensibilities.
In the journey of discovery that is “Meet Cassidey,” the devil-may-care Jessica Harper lookalike encounters, among others, Samantha Sin and Celeste Star. These are good people to know.. The vignettes don’t involve pizza guys or pool cleaners or Bevery Hills bordellos, just sex in warehouses which, according to The New York Times, are the “new sexual destination.” I just made that up, but it’s true.
Cassidey reminds me a little bit of Chloe, another unconventional porn star who played by her own rules. “Meet Cassidey” is an excellent keepsake in your growing collection of pornophernalia.
Popularity: 28% [?]
Nurses, Cheerleaders, Babysitters, Asians, the Azz: niches and fetishes are the hallmark of Porn 2.0. But I thought that the niche reservoir was drying up after low-wattage celebrities were thrown into the mix. Thank God I was wrong.
Produced by Kelly Madison, “Porn Star Brides” suggests that a wedding dress might be the new tramp stamp, as Sienna West (pictured), Eva Angelina, and Brooke Banner each don dresses and, just as quickly, get fucked right out of them in five vignettes.
At first, the movie plays like a cheesy wedding video by your pimply high school AV geek cousin. In the segment “Punk Rock Bride,” Sienna West intones in a halting voiceover against a backdrop of fluttering rose petals and white satin:
“Ever since I was a little girl. For as long as I can remember. All I wanted to do was get married. To the man that I love. To the man of my dreams. But now that I’m married. All I want to do is (and here the gauzy lighting and tranquil music change) Fuck.”
Ryan Madison (Kelly’s husband/lucky bastard) plays the groom in each vignette, and Kelly is (uncharacteristically) nowhere to be found.
Popularity: 43% [?]
As you can imagine, sales of HDTVs peaked last Christmas, and will probably beat those numbers this year. But when I purchased my HDTV (we call her “Billie” and I would eagerly invite her into my marriage for her voluminous slots and jacks) last December I had little idea that the HD-DVD/Blu-ray format war was about a month away from being decided in Blu-ray’s favor.
That was until I got my HD-DVD player for free with my television.
I’ll admit that I have never watched the two movies I received with my new HD-DVD player (”The Bourne Identity” and “300″). I use my player only for standard DVD discs. And I can’t imagine watching porn in high-def on a big screen because I have never done that, either.
But that is because I am of a generation that began watching porn on a computer, and older than the generation that began watching porn on iPods. I am compartmentalized, too: I think that porn shouldn’t have a big screen treatment, probably because I am of a generation that still has thin walled apartments where neighbors would judge me by Roxy Jezel’s screams.
Now that the larger studios are releasing movies in Blu-Ray in earnest as well as re-releasing old movies in that format (Digital Playground, Vivid, and JM Productions are the biggest), porn consumers are in a position where they have to buy new equipment for the first time since the mass adoption of the DVD ten years ago, rather than simply to upgrade equipment or to wait for porn to be more computer-friendly; Blu-ray represents the first time in a decade that porn has played hard to get.
Despite widespread acknowledgment that the standard-def DVD is dying (and you are so lucky Gamelink offers thousands of titles in its VOD theatre), Blu-ray porn, especially that material already shot in high definition, might give the disc format a few more years of rope.
Popularity: 35% [?]
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