Don’t believe the hype about “Pirates II: Stagnetti’s Revenge.” Just get the movie. It’s a keeper, and a movie that, with its precursor, occupies its own tiny niche of Blockbuster Porn. Sometimes blockbusters don’t do everything they should, but “Pirates II” does some things really well. In that way it is the porn equivalent of “Pearl Harbor”; narratively suspect, expensive, all over the place, but a technical milestone.

And the sex scenes? Excessive in just the right way. The theatrical version features some editing we don’t normally see in sex scenes - good editing. The bonus DVD features these same scenes except 20 minutes longer. It almost doesn’t seem like that would even be fun…

Here we see Teagan interviewing Jesse Jane at the premiere this weekend. Teagan starred in the first “Pirates” and is now a free agent. I never thought of her as an interviewer before, but she is very good at it. Jesse Jane, of course, is as well-spoken as Tera Patrick at these events. See? All the Digital Playground girls made good.

Watch “Pirates II: Stagnetti’s Revenge” here
Buy “Pirates II: Stagnetti’s Revenge” here
Watch “Pirates” here
Buy “Pirates” here

Popularity: 38% [?]

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Some people think that drama follows porn stars around, or that they leave drama in their wake. But let’s be magnanimous and say that this is the exception and not the rule, and make haste to the case of Jean Jacobs who, as Jean Laconia, first made a video for a Connecticut firm called Real Passion Productions and then went on to film two scenes for Harmony Films and then Vivid, claiming that both were her first scenes ever.

Regardless of this, Laconia, who has now chosen the name Jean Jacobs, is hot like fire, and isn’t that the point? Tall and taut but also just zaftig enough to appeal to older fans who remember when many porn stars enjoyed eating, Jacobs stars in Greedy Video’s “I Film Myself 7″ (along with equally charming Penny Flame) in a solo scene among solo scenes, the conceit being that each girl has her own camera so that, conceivably, the viewer is shown what turns on the star about herself.

If you’re like me, you watch a scene like this and are left not caring what her name is, just that she’s there.

Buy the movie here.

Popularity: 35% [?]

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Maybe you won’t learn about why disgraced former New York governor Eliot Spitzer’s dalliances with prostitutes were federal crimes rather than state ones by watching writer/director Stuart Canterbury’s “Gov Lov: The Eliot Splitz-her Story.” Maybe you won’t get an idea of the titters of schadenfraude running through the corridors of the Albany State House at Spitzer’s hypocrisy by watching the porn version.

But you will have front row seats to something that tells you a lot about the time we’re living in nonetheless: a quickie porn turnaround of a breaking news story. And, in the case of “Gov Lov,” a quality production that doesn’t just cash in on Mike Horner’s resemblance to Spitzer but actually sticks (with little need to tarry) to the real story.

“This was a real life situation which unfolded like a porn story for once,” said Canterbury. “The script we shot was practically right off the page.”

Gamelink: How soon after the Spitzer story began unraveling did you put together the script? Did you pitch it to Huster first? How did they respond?

SC: It seemed obvious to me as soon as the initial story was confirmed. I shoot for other studios too, but it seemed like a perfect fit for Hustler from the beginning, and I think that Larry Flynt was thinking the same thing, because the response was quick and positive. Look, I am a registered Democrat, and we always hammer the Republicans at any chance we get, but this was a case where a Democratic ex-prosecutor had behaved hypocritically and deserved to be ridiculed.

Gamelink: You’re a director with a track record; you know what the porn formula is and your movie didn’t get all conceptual and self-distracted, at the same time you stayed true to a porn version of events. Did you tinker with the story/characters or was the movie shot the one you originally wrote?

SC: The actors got into the spirit of things and we improvised some of the comedy.

Gamelink: Did you want Mike Horner to be Splitz-her from the beginning?

SC: I must credit Hustler head of production Drew Rosenfeld with the suggestion to use Mike Horner. Mike and I have worked together for years, in locations as varied as Budapest and Africa, so I was very happy with the idea of casting him. I deliberately wrote the “ballet” scene in the bedroom for him, knowing that he would come up with the physical bits where the Governor is getting ready for his tryst.

Gamelink: Explain the normal porn shoot/turnaround time for a movie of that size as compared to the speedy turnaround time of “Gov Lov.”

SC: Of course, everyone was sensitive to the fact that this was a topical story, and had to get into release quickly to make the most of it. LFP (Larry Flynt Productions, parent of Hustler) moved rapidly to help us get into production as soon as possible.

(note: a typical low budget feature - we’re not talking “Pirates” or “The Fashionistas” - is shot, edited, and released in three months. “Gov Lov” hit the shelves less than one month after the “Client 9″ scandal broke.)

Gamelink: How would you categorize the types of porn movies you normally do?

SC: Some of the movies I have made are more romantic, some more edgy, but porn and comedy go very well together, and it is usually more fun to make something funny, such as a parody. I do not do gonzo projects, but only features with a story line and a softcore version. People will get bored with just watching sex, but everyone gets hooked into a story, or an interesting visual style. Depending on the studio I am shooting for, the content can be very raunchy, but I also like to make sure that we shoot some tease. I find the context of the sex scenes within the dramatic framework and the look of the production to be as titillating as the content itself.

Gamelink: Nice touch on flying in the Albany State House. I am sure that sort of flourish would be left out of lesser projects. Talk a little about your choice to get that image.

SC: I wish I could say it was my idea, but the credit must go to the editor.

Order “Gov Lov: The Eliot Splitz-her Story” here.
See more of Stuart Canterbury’s movies here.
See more Mike Horner movies here.
See more Cassandra Cruz movies here.

Popularity: 51% [?]

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The newest faux reality project to hit the adult world is the story of the Vivid remake of the 1972 classic porn “Deep Throat” that will star Sasha Grey. A Showtime crew is following the production in the same manner they did for the “Debbie Does Dallas…Again” shoot last year, with hopes of creating a behind the scenes porn series fraught with comedy, drama, and nudes.

But whereas the narrative conflict scripted for “Debbie” pitted Vivid president Steve Hirsch against director Paul Thomas and featured a B story of Vivid-alt director Eon McKai making his own version of “Debbie,” the “Throat” story sets Vivid against Arrow Productions, which owns the copyright of the original film.

Having worked in reality television in another life, I remember being shocked when I learned that reality TV wasn’t real, and that
stories were nudged and edited and invented. And, as is often the case, the real story is better. After all - it’s porn! What could have been a wildly entertaining and educational opportunity for Vivid was instead watered down by the Showtime production. The reality series made Vivid look like a company that had no good reason to not burn to the ground.

So I was dubious when I heard Showtime and Vivid were teaming up again. I talked with Showtime director Michael Call.

“Is this real reality or scripted reality?” I asked.

“We’re trying to capture everybody as naturally as we can,” he said. “But some situations seem more natural than others.”

As the show is still in production, a lot of that narrative finessing will happen in the editing room.

Robert Interlandi, marketing director for Arrow and whose father, Paul, owns the Las Vegas-based company, told me that Arrow is actively hunting down companies that have illegally used the “Deep Throat” name in porn movies.

“We sent a letter to a guy last year and made him change the name of his movie,” he said. “It used to be ‘Deeper Throat [something]‘ and we made him take out the ‘Deep Throat’ reference.”

Call told me that some of the characters in the movie were “unintentionally funny.”

The Showtime series will follow both companies as they remake “Deep Throat,” but I wonder where the conflict is if, in order to use the “Deep Throat” name, Interlandi says that Vivid must pay him.

“In fact, we have to approve the Vivid film before they release it,” he said. I asked him to repeat this because it seemed out of the ordinary.

“They’ve got Sasha Grey,” Interlandi said. “Everybody knows her. I’m looking for the next Linda Lovelace. We’ve already had a casting call.”

Assuming that Arrow wants a new Linda Lovelace who will embody that late celebrity’s enthusiasm and become a household name rather than turn her back on the adult industry and accuse it of forcing her to have sex, I’m behind that.

Arrow, based in Las Vegas, is also capitalizing on “Deep Throat” with a new energy drink, which they call “Deep Throat Energy Drink” (”Keep it up ALL Night”). I took a sip, noticing no immediate erection. But then, it was the day time. It tastes like Rockstar Energy Drink, but it definitely does not taste like coercion.

Popularity: 51% [?]

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