I got to meet the resurgent Raquel Devine on the set of Adultspoof.com’s “Erection 2008,” the second (and, with luck, the last) Sarah Palin porn to be released just under the wire of the 2008 presidential election. And this is enough for me for, while I am happy that Lisa Ann (of Hustler’s “Who’s Nailin’ Paylin?”) and the delicious Devine got some extra work and more recognition than normally reserved for cougar movies, I am really hoping the marketability of Sarah Palin as a porn spoof object goes way down after tomorrow. Don’t you?

But Palin was such an easy target for comedy and pornography, some people might be sad if she goes away. Those people are the real terrorists.

Because I believe in America. And even if Saturday Night Live experienced a resurgence on the heels of the Alaska governor’s unlikely entrance on the national scene, and even if Hustler became talked about in the first significant way since Larry Flynt’s fights with Jerry Falwell, I am sure that, together, we can find more things to make porn about. And Yes, we will laugh again.

Visit “Erection 2008“

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Often enough, a porn performer will arrive at a filming location with her little airplane bag fulll of underpants and hair extensions and then be handed a script.

“Half the time I’d walk on a set I’d have no idea what the movie was or that it had dialogue,” Ava Rose once told me. “I only knew it would be a girl or a guy and I’d know what I’d be making for the scene.”

And, because performers’ legs spend so much time in the air in the porn industry, it is easy to believe that schedules are up in the air, too, and oftentimes a cast list can go kerblooey from one day to the next.

So it was that I was told Tuesday that Max Hardcore and Ginger Lynn would be playing John and Cindy McCain in a new Sarah Palin porno being shot in Porn Valley. “Amazing,” I said, America’s Beloved Porn Journalist. “Now that’s news.”

I rescheduled appointments so I could attend this blessed event. The next day I was told that the characters who were to play Palin, the McCains, and two or three other people in their entourage had all been recast in the space of 48 hours due to various porn fuckups.

“Max neglected to tell us that he had a court date on the shooting day,” someone connected with the production told me, which makes no sense to me. But relying on whether or not something makes sense is a foolish measure in the porn business.

It reminds me of other Might Have Been moments, like Buddy Ebsen as the original choice to play George Bailey in “It’s A Wonderful Life.”

Yes, exactly like that.

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Now and then someone comes along whose choice of porn name is just perfect (and Courtney Cummz, G-d Bless Her, is not one of them). Mia Freak is such a person.

She doesn’t look like a porn star, really, but she does look like someone who, if you saw her behind a teller window or at In-n-Out, you would immediately think, “I bet she is a freak.”

And this is a wonderful thing about Mia Freak because, even though she does not have that particular “look” common to many porn performers, there is something twice as frank about the way she carries herself, and that makes all the difference. When your porn star girlfriend has lost interest and has begun texting and picking at her face, you can be assured that Mia Freak is still on for the “Cream Pie Blowout” or anything you or your Kiwanis lodge might have in store.

Watch “Cream Pie Blowout 4″
Buy “Cream Pie Blowout 4″

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Don’t believe the hype about “Pirates II: Stagnetti’s Revenge.” Just get the movie. It’s a keeper, and a movie that, with its precursor, occupies its own tiny niche of Blockbuster Porn. Sometimes blockbusters don’t do everything they should, but “Pirates II” does some things really well. In that way it is the porn equivalent of “Pearl Harbor”; narratively suspect, expensive, all over the place, but a technical milestone.

And the sex scenes? Excessive in just the right way. The theatrical version features some editing we don’t normally see in sex scenes – good editing. The bonus DVD features these same scenes except 20 minutes longer. It almost doesn’t seem like that would even be fun…

Here we see Teagan interviewing Jesse Jane at the premiere this weekend. Teagan starred in the first “Pirates” and is now a free agent. I never thought of her as an interviewer before, but she is very good at it. Jesse Jane, of course, is as well-spoken as Tera Patrick at these events. See? All the Digital Playground girls made good.

Buy “Pirates II: Stagnetti’s Revenge” here
Buy “Pirates” here

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