Is that a … OH JESUS CHRIST

Posted on November 7th, 2008 in Blowjob, Boobs, Hardcore by Gram

bobbi and shane 1

Because my vision is nothing if not selective, the first thing I noticed in this picture was Bobbi Starr’s thoughtful face and full, manageable breasts. But…what was…in her mouth?

Why, none other than the mammoth-cocked Shane Diesel, of course! I hesitated to post this picture because it simply doesn’t look like part of a human being in this photo as much as it does some kind of fleshy stalagmite that, for whatever reason, the considerate and kind Starr is gagging herself on.

bobbi and shane 2

In their scene together, Diesel and Starr roll up in his 6-4 and get busy. My purpose in actually wartching the scene was to see if that appendage hadn’t been Photococked to appear bigger.

It hasn’t. But the camera definitely got closer to force the perspective. Still, it’s huge.

bobbi and shane 3

Having never seen a Shane Diesel movie before, I wanted to make sure he was kind. Because Bobbi Starr is America’s Sweetheart. And he is. Diesel is very nice to her. That’s all that matters.

Watch Stretched Out Snatch 8 Now.

Again with the Palins, and perhaps never again

Posted on November 3rd, 2008 in Celebrity Porn, Hardcore, MILF by admin

raquel devine

I got to meet the resurgent Raquel Devine on the set of Adultspoof.com’s “Erection 2008,” the second (and, with luck, the last) Sarah Palin porn to be released just under the wire of the 2008 presidential election. And this is enough for me for, while I am happy that Lisa Ann (of Hustler’s “Who’s Nailin’ Paylin?”) and the delicious Devine got some extra work and more recognition than normally reserved for cougar movies, I am really hoping the marketability of Sarah Palin as a porn spoof object goes way down after tomorrow. Don’t you?

But Palin was such an easy target for comedy and pornography, some people might be sad if she goes away. Those people are the real terrorists.

Because I believe in America. And even if Saturday Night Live experienced a resurgence on the heels of the Alaska governor’s unlikely entrance on the national scene, and even if Hustler became talked about in the first significant way since Larry Flynt’s fights with Jerry Falwell, I am sure that, together, we can find more things to make porn about. And Yes, we will laugh again.

Visit “Erection 2008

Max Hardcore’s derailed Straight Down the Throat Express

Posted on October 23rd, 2008 in Celebrity Porn, Hardcore by Gram

mccain hardcore 08

Often enough, a porn performer will arrive at a filming location with her little airplane bag fulll of underpants and hair extensions and then be handed a script.

“Half the time I’d walk on a set I’d have no idea what the movie was or that it had dialogue,” Ava Rose once told me. “I only knew it would be a girl or a guy and I’d know what I’d be making for the scene.”

And, because performers’ legs spend so much time in the air in the porn industry, it is easy to believe that schedules are up in the air, too, and oftentimes a cast list can go kerblooey from one day to the next.

So it was that I was told Tuesday that Max Hardcore and Ginger Lynn would be playing John and Cindy McCain in a new Sarah Palin porno being shot in Porn Valley. “Amazing,” I said, America’s Beloved Porn Journalist. “Now that’s news.”

I rescheduled appointments so I could attend this blessed event. The next day I was told that the characters who were to play Palin, the McCains, and two or three other people in their entourage had all been recast in the space of 48 hours due to various porn fuckups.

“Max neglected to tell us that he had a court date on the shooting day,” someone connected with the production told me, which makes no sense to me. But relying on whether or not something makes sense is a foolish measure in the porn business.

It reminds me of other Might Have Been moments, like Buddy Ebsen as the original choice to play George Bailey in “It’s A Wonderful Life.”

Yes, exactly like that.

Mia Freak is super

Posted on October 7th, 2008 in Hardcore, fetish, gangbang by Gram

mia freak 1

Now and then someone comes along whose choice of porn name is just perfect (and Courtney Cummz, G-d Bless Her, is not one of them). Mia Freak is such a person.

She doesn’t look like a porn star, really, but she does look like someone who, if you saw her behind a teller window or at In-n-Out, you would immediately think, “I bet she is a freak.”

mia freak 2

And this is a wonderful thing about Mia Freak because, even though she does not have that particular “look” common to many porn performers, there is something twice as frank about the way she carries herself, and that makes all the difference. When your porn star girlfriend has lost interest and has begun texting and picking at her face, you can be assured that Mia Freak is still on for the “Cream Pie Blowout” or anything you or your Kiwanis lodge might have in store.

Watch “Cream Pie Blowout 4″
Buy “Cream Pie Blowout 4″

Jesse Jane and Teagan – together again! If only Tera had shown up

teagan and jesse

Don’t believe the hype about “Pirates II: Stagnetti’s Revenge.” Just get the movie. It’s a keeper, and a movie that, with its precursor, occupies its own tiny niche of Blockbuster Porn. Sometimes blockbusters don’t do everything they should, but “Pirates II” does some things really well. In that way it is the porn equivalent of “Pearl Harbor”; narratively suspect, expensive, all over the place, but a technical milestone.

And the sex scenes? Excessive in just the right way. The theatrical version features some editing we don’t normally see in sex scenes – good editing. The bonus DVD features these same scenes except 20 minutes longer. It almost doesn’t seem like that would even be fun

Here we see Teagan interviewing Jesse Jane at the premiere this weekend. Teagan starred in the first “Pirates” and is now a free agent. I never thought of her as an interviewer before, but she is very good at it. Jesse Jane, of course, is as well-spoken as Tera Patrick at these events. See? All the Digital Playground girls made good.

Buy “Pirates II: Stagnetti’s Revenge” here
Buy “Pirates” here