An Interview with Lorelei Lee, pornstar, feminist, writer, student and all-round fierce bad-ass.
Lorelei Lee, the blonde bombshell star of Private’s An Open Invitation: A Real Swinger’s Party in San Francisco (try saying that title 5 times fast), recently took some time to share her thoughts about a variety of topics. Read and enjoy!
•Where do you live?
I divide my time between San Francisco and New York City, with occasional forays into Los Angeles
All over the U.S.
I am currently in a Master’s program
•Favorite novelist, music, TV series, director, artist?
I love Jayne Anne Phillips and Mary Robison. All kinds of music, but especially hip hop, pop, bluegrass, blues, and country. I like nerdy sci-fi TV shows – anything written by Joss Whedon. My favorite artists are generally my friends – I have a lot of tremendously talented friends: actress and performance artist Erin Markey, the “dream come true girl” World Famous *BOB*, burlesque performer Dirty Martini, documentary director Nicole Opper, musician and painter Nicole Bennett, painter Kyle Ranson – just to name a few.
•Who are your icons and why?
Marilyn Monroe, because she was a master of emotivity. Dolly Parton, because she is fabulous.
•What is your relationship status?
I’m in a serious relationship
•How did you get into the adult/movie industry?
Gradually. I did my first shoot when I was nineteen, then made the industry my full time job at 21. I shot a lot of BDSM work in the beginning, then moved on to mainstream adult work later.
•How many movies have you been in?
I have no idea. Hundreds.
•What are your hobbies ?
Reading and writing, cooking, yoga, painting and drawing
•What are your thoughts on marriage?
I believe that everyone should have the right to marry, but I also think the legal benefits of marriage should be extended to people who choose not to marry
•What are your beliefs on monogamy within a relationship?
Again, I think everyone needs to make their own choices about this. I’ve been in non-monogamous relationships in the past, and felt that was the right thing for me then, but right now I’m happily monogamous. I think people should be honest with themselves about what they want and need at various times in their lives.
3RD WAVE FEMINISIM
•How do you define 3rd wave feminism and how did you discover it?
I don’t really have a definition for this. I think I’m considered a feminist because I believe that women should be free to live in ways that defy society’s expectations for them – but I believe this for men as well.
•How does 3rd wave differ from 2nd wave feminism?
I think the general consensus is that the 3rd wave is more likely to embrace the diversity of women’s sexualities. A lot of 2nd wave rhetoric discusses heterosexual sex as being inherently oppressive for women. 2nd wavers also have a general leaning toward being anti-porn and anti-BDSM, believing that pornography and sado-masochism are exploitative, and that there is no possibility of engaging in these activities consensually. I think the 3rd wave expands the concepts of female autonomy and self-definition to include the arenas of desire and corporeal expression.
•How does 3rd wave feminism fit with being an actress in adult movies?
I think this is probably easily inferred from my last answer, but basically, as a 3rd wave feminist, I think women should be trusted to make the best choices for their own bodies, including the choice to make sexually explicit films.
•Do you know any other 3rd wave feminists who work in adult?
Of course: Nina Hartley, Madison Young, Princess Donna, Kylie Ireland, Bobbi Starr, Courtney Trouble, Dana Dearmond, Jez Lee, Joanna Angel, Maitresse Madeline – the list is endless. I’d say at least seventy percent of the women I work with are 3rd wave feminists
•What do you think will be the 4th wave of feminism?
I have no idea.
•Do you watch pornography? Do you watch the films you have been in? Why?
I don’t watch my own films for fun, but occasionally I do for the purpose of critiquing my own work.
•Why do you think some people are so reactionary to pornography?
I think a lot of people have fear around their own sexual desires, and project that fear onto people who act more freely.
•Would you like to direct an adult movie? What would it be about/genre/niche?
I occasionally work as a guest director for Kink.com, which I very much enjoy. I would love to also direct something less genre-oriented. I’d love to direct a really hardcore mainstream adult film, with a lot of really dirty sex in it.
•What would you advise a female best friend or your sister if they were interested in becoming involved in the adult industry?
I would try to give them the benefit of my own experience, and make sure they had thought about all the potential outcomes. The biggest hazard to working in porn, of course, is that it will never stay a secret, and you will likely have to deal with the reactions of your family, friends, acquaintances, your present and future dates and lovers, and your future employers if ever want to work in another field.
•Do you think porn has a positive social function?
•What turns you on and what turns you off?
Turn-ons: sincerity, enthusiasm, responsiveness and awareness, good hygiene and manners, aggression, creativity, risk. Turn-offs: dirty fingernails, disrespect, unqualified arrogance, narcissism, lack of attention.
•When did you lose your virginity? Can you tell us about the experience?
I lost my virginity as a teenager. It was exciting for me, but sex definitely got better from there.
•Your lesbian scene with India Summer is beautiful and passionate. Do you consider yourself bisexual in your private life?
•Do you like anal sex or do you do it just for the camera?
I definitely enjoy anal sex, but it’s something I have to build up to rather than a spontaneous activity for me.
•What’s your favorite position?
Cowgirl, doggy, missionary, anything that involves standing or fucking on the furniture
•What’s your favorite sex toy?
The Hitachi [Magic Wand]
•Can you tell us about one of your sexual fantasies?
I’d rather just play them out for you.
COUPLES AND PORN
•Do you think couples watch porn or is it media hype?
I know that couples watch porn, because they often send me fan e-mails or go to conventions together. I’ve met a lot of happy couples who include porn in their sex lives.
•Do you or would you watch porn with a partner? What kind?
My partner and I both work in the industry, so while we occasionally look at porn together, this mainly happens in a work context.
•As the movie portrays a couple who begin to learn about swinging, do you think couples may watch this movie and it will make them want to start swinging? Is that a good thing?
I think people may have all kinds of reactions to this film – for some people, the fantasy of swinging could be exciting without their wanting to act on the fantasy themselves. For others, this film could certainly awaken desires that are already inside of them. Other viewers may just want to watch the hot sex scenes without getting deeply involved with the context. I think any way that this film makes people feel hot is a good thing.
Open Invitation: A Real Swinger’s Party in San Francisco
•Are you a swinger yourself?
I’ve been in non-monogamous relationships in the past, but I’m currently monogamous outside of my performances in adult films.
•Was it a different experience than usual for you to be filmed having sex in front of so many people at the party?
No, not really. I’ve had a lot of public or semi-public sex.
•Which was your favorite scene? Why?
I can’t choose. Every scene in this film was fucking hot to film.
•Are there born natural swingers or are they the product of a liberal society?
I don’t know if it is innate or learned, but I do know that some people will always seek out non-monogamy and some people will never be totally comfortable with it – and lots of people (like myself) will want to be non-monogamous at certain times during their lives and monogamous at other times.
•Do you think that a swinger has a more open mind and if there were more swingers in the world, then the world would be a better place?
Not necessarily. I don’t think being a swinger is necessarily related to other forms of open-mindedness. I do think that the world would be a better place if everyone had respect and tolerance for other people’s sexual choices and orientations.
•Many swingers claim that being swingers saved their marriage. What are your thoughts? I’ve never been married, so I can’t comment in that respect, but I’m all for people making unconventional choices that feel right for them.
•What do you think the difference is between American and European attitudes toward sex and homosexuality?
I don’t know – I haven’t spent a lot of time in Europe, but I’m told that attitudes are generally more relaxed there than in the U.S. I would love to do more traveling and find out if these rumors are true.
•What are your thoughts on the hypocrisy that television shows death, violence and murder but you can’t show penetrative sex?
It’s unfortunate that violent imagery is so pervasive as to be relatively low in impact on viewers. I personally think there is some benefit to the taboos surrounding sexuality in that they make sex more exciting, and make the watching of sexual imagery and the explicit discussion of sex feel a little naughty. The best possible world, in my opinion, would be one in which a balance was struck between maintaining the enigmatic thrill of sex, and enabling the uninhibited acquisition of information about sex and sexuality.