Who might be watching the “Watchmen” again?

Posted on June 19th, 2009 in Porn Movies by Gram

Bianca Beauchamp

Months after the movie version of “Watchmen” arrived in theatres and, sadly, died after grossing a paltry $180 million worldwide – despite some great ideas and an excellent performance by Jackie Earle Haley as Rorschach – Canadian fetish model Bianca Beauchamp shows up in a Silk Spectre II suit.

Bianca Beauchamp

To look at Beauchamp in her comic book bondagewear is to remember the titanic-breasted strippers of eld, and their sexy, slightly worse for wear appearance. If you look at Beauchamp’s website (all the videos are in French but thoughtfully subtitled in English), you get more of an Aria Giovanni-style ready-for-porn supermodel, but in the “Watchmen” get up she makes the wholesome Silk Spectre look like a Terminator.

silk-spectre-nite-owl_426x435

And that’s not all that bad, since Malin Ackerman as Silk Spectre II was one of the more poorly-realized parts of the movie. Scholars will note that Ackerman, though born in Sweden, is also Canadian.

In the hummingbird-fast news cycle of porn geekery it is appropriate, then, that a really late cash-in on a movie released in March would be perpetrated by a woman who looks like a stripper who prowled the stage of Dick’s Classy Lady in Kansas City in 1978.

Beauchamp-as-Silk Spectre II photos via I Heart Chaos.

(Oh, and speaking of porn geekery, the new iPhone comes out today.)

Searching for a safeword in the Muslim world

Posted on May 4th, 2009 in Porn Movies by Gram

fetishnyt

Anyone who has had a dog hump her leg, a cat in heat back up slowly against his elbow, or discovered that the waterjet in the YMCA pool is the only device angled just right knows that things made for one purpose can do double duty for a sexual one.

A New York Times story about two Pakistani brothers who are selling bondage toys to the Western fetish market reports that the veiled women putting together the ball gags and flogger straps have no idea what they are being used for.

And “If our mom knew, she would disown us,” said Adnan, one of the brothers.

That the floggers, which resemble scourges the Taliban uses, are like the ones used in “O2: The Surrender of O” and numerous other bondage movies, is a source of awkward amusement for the brothers, who visit the AVN show in Las Vegas every year.

“Clients know our country and culture, and they don’t invite us to participate,” said younger brother Rizwan. “We’re a little bit shy.”

See also: Lacy Threads and Leather Straps Bind a Business

Bettie Page: Imitation Is The Sincerest Form Of Flattery

Posted on March 24th, 2009 in fetish,Porn Movies by admin

It’s always nice to see a Bettie Page haircut on someone besides Bettie Page. I know that Bettie Page fans will start screaming about how nobody does it better and also blah blah blah, but I don’t care about that. I like a girl with a Bettie Page haircut, but my view of Bettie Page is that she was hot enough for her time but could be improved upon, so I am glad that Bettie Page imitation porn keeps landing on my desk, like the copy of Dita – Behind Closed Doors that I got today.

Dita von Teese in Dita Behind Closed Doors
Buy Dita – Behind Closed Doors |
Watch Dita – Behind Closed Doors on VOD

Dita von Teese is, of course, the former fiancee or girlfriend or something like that of Marilyn Manson, about whom I could not care less but who is apparently web-sticky, so Marilyn Manson Marilyn Manson Marilyn Manson. Dita likes to dress up in fetish clothing and pinup getups, and I am glad that she does. Even though my senses have been jaded by porn so much that I could not possibly get off to softcore pinup porn, I am still glad it exists – not least because it reminds me of more hardcore Bettie Page imitation porn, like The Reincarnation of Betty Paige 2, starring uberboobed kinkster Darla Crane, who does everything you wanted to see Bettie do, but never did.

Watch Darla Crane in The Reincarnation of Betty Paige 2
Buy The Reincarnation of Betty Paige 2 |
WatchThe Reincarnation of Betty Paige 2 on VOD

Thanks, Dita and Darla, for finally delivering on Bettie’s old promises.

Paging Dr. Simone (who is banging Lena Ramon)

Posted on November 14th, 2008 in fetish,Masturbation by Gram

“It’s like I’m trying to study,” Zenova Braden says to her therapist, Julie Simone, “and they’re all moaning and masturbating. I can’t take it anymore!”

Thus begins “Julie Simone’s Sex Addicts,” in which Simone, who last year relocated from Los Angeles and now lives in Missouri, must apply negative conditioning and aversion therapy in order to curb the lustful thoughts of Braeden’s filthy roommates.

This reminds me of a better-executed Jim Holliday movie, in which a demented but complex story is pulled off by game pornstresses. In the case of “Sex Addicts,” Lena Ramon and Ariel X, who play the reconditioned roommates.

As you can imagine, the therapy was never really meant to work. Clothespins, hot wax, and electric zapping don’t seem to help. I’d ask to see Dr. Simone’s medical credentials, but who’d listen? I don’t have boobs.

Watch “Julie Simone’s Sex Addicts” now.

Deviant Movie & Rubber Sex Book Review Pt. 2

Posted on August 27th, 2008 in fetish,Reviews by admin

I was probably already a deviant before I read Rubber Sex, a group of stories edited by Rachel Kramer Bussel (see Rubber Sex Review Part 1). By the time I got to Rachel’s own story towards the end the book, I was becoming a full-on rubber fanatic. ‘Tight Squeeze,’ is about her young submissive boy, who reminds me of a lover of mine, as he writhes in ecstasy of being objectified. He becomes a green latex-wrapped sex toy, feeling like a superhero, realizing the power that his plastic-looking body has to provide pleasure to his femdom. It’s incredibly sexy.

Rubber Sex Book Cover

That was an fine story to read on the bus home (in SF of course, not recommended bus-reading in the Red States). But I was grateful I made it back to my own bedroom by the time I got to ‘Butterfly Kiss,’ by Thomas Roche. I had never heard of a vac bed before, and struggled to imagine exactly how this device looked, despite Roche’s excellent description. I wanted more detail than my imagination could extract from his words. I allowed my mind to race with the danger he conjured in the story. In sharp contrast to the sex parties I have attended–which are always so damn safe–this was just the exactly dangerous kind of scene that I want to imagine while masturbating with my eyes closed–wearing my new latex panties. If fantasies aren’t a bit more dangerous than reality, what good are they? Well, his is especially good. Trust me. His story was so hot, and my urge to see this magical bed of rubber so great, I had to find some porn with a vac bed….

Obsessed with my new rubber bed fantasy, I went searching and finally came up with a perfect title…a fetish movie made in England. Just enough rubber, (but not so much as the movies made for hard-core rubber fetishists) and plenty of hot sex, including one of the hottest boy-girl-boy threesomes I have EVER seen! Tanya Hyde‘s “Deviant” is a perfect next step on this rubber journey.

Deviant (Tanya Hyde movie)I watched the first scene, a fantasy involving industrial worker men taking an executive female into a basement and group fucking her like she had seen in a smut cartoon just before. Though I had intended to skip to the very end of the movie, where the bed I so wanted to see was featured, it was just so hot, I couldn’t stop. Though not all of this movie is about rubber, there is plenty of it and the sex in every scene is smokin’:

My favorite scenes include:

  • (1:16 ) A lesbian domination scene featuring a red rubber dress with an open back on the dominant who puts her upside-down slave to work in the opening after torturing her shaved cunt. That is hot, I don’t care what your sexual orientation.
  • (1:54:10) A submissive in a vac bed who looks like I imagine I will once I find one of these beds. So helpless, barely moving, heart racing so hard you can almost see it beat through the latex, (which is about the same color as the one described in Rubber Sex, I think). The dominant makes good use of the opportunity to fondle and caress every inch of her beautiful body, paying close attention to her shaved pussy, just like in the Rubber Sex story. After several days of watching this movie over and over again, late at night with rubber panties and dildos to enhance the visuals, I was ready for more of the written words that had lured me into this new deviance…

My only real criticism of the book is that the ‘Tight Squeeze’ and ‘Butterfly Kiss’ stories are basically the climax of the book. The stories that follow don’t keep up the pace. The one exception is ‘Rubber Party Virgin’. I thought it did a good job making me feel like the adventurer who stumbles into the delightful, tasty, smelly, sick and twisted world of rubber for the first time. It made me wish I were a gay man.

Rachel’s Rubber Sex Blog  includes a post about Jane’s Guide’s recent review of Rubber Sex. They have a different take on the ‘Rubber Party Virgin’ story, and a review from a more vanilla mind. I can’t remember anything about vanilla anymore ;-)

Read Part 1 of Rubber Sex review, or shop for rubber movies .