Alexis Texas says “Come Hither”

Posted on January 8th, 2010 in Aside,Porn People by gramponante

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The juicy and delightful Alexis Texas steals a moment from signing (with Miss Tori Black) at the Elegant Angel booth to commune with Gamelink readers.

“Aren’t I sexy?” she said, thinking we would laugh at our jest.

Yes, we said. You would be sexy, Alexis Texas, even if you wore glasses.

You will forgive Katie Kox anything

Posted on January 8th, 2010 in Aside,Porn News,Porn People by gramponante

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Katie Kox, seen here signing for Adam & Eve at the 2010 Adult Entertainment Expo, glowers at a fan as Amber Rayne dutifully signs another autograph. But I forgive Katie Kox.

Kox took the center position between Rayne and Alexis Ford and, at the moment this picture was taken, had just been asked – probably for the 30th time – if she were Bree Olson.

Nope,” she said.

But Katie Kox, as you can see, is absolutely delicious. The sad fact is tht she does, in fact, look a little like Bree Olson in that she is blonde, voluptuous, and signing for Adam & Eve. It’s an easy mistake.

Which I forgive.

And it can’t be easy to stand in high heels, feeling your makeup clinging to your face, staring at an endless line of fans upon whose faces register Bree/Not Bree reactions upon getting closer.

Getting mistaken for Bree Olson is not the worst thing in the world (I am often mistaken for Donald Sutherland).

Everybody Loves Audrey

Posted on August 18th, 2009 in Porn Movies by Gram

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“The part was written for me,” Audrey Hollander said on the set of Hustler‘s Everybody Loves Lucy, which filmed last September and was released this week.

The feature was directed by Jerome Tanner and also stars Otto Bauer.

” I had the luck of being married to her already,” Bauer said. “So I got to be Desi.”

In the attached gallery we also see Kylee Reese, who plays Desi’s English teacher. He fucks her.

But we also get to see the late Richard de Montfort at work. de Montfort, a longtime director and set photographer, died in July of a heart attack. His last movie was Hustler’s Untrue Hollywood Stories: Lindsay Lohan.

In the history of casting porn movies, I don’t think there has been a smarter choice than the delightful redhead Audrey Hollander to play Lucy, save for when Gianna Michaels was cast in a movie that had the word “boobies” in the title.

I asked Hollander and Bauer what was their secret for a lasting union. Especially one in which the female partner constantly runs the risk of slipping and spraining something in others’ drool.

“Staying in a relationship with Audrey is just an exercise in trying not to fuck up,” Bauer said. “Also, we keep her ass stretched out at home.”

I will remember this in my duties as an ordained minister.

Pornstar Audrey Hollander in Hustler's Everybody Loves Lucy XXX Pornstar Audrey Hollander in Hustler's Everybody Loves Lucy XXX

Pornstar Audrey Hollander in Hustler's Everybody Loves Lucy XXX Pornstar Audrey Hollander in Hustler's Everybody Loves Lucy XXX

Pornstar Audrey Hollander in Hustler's Everybody Loves Lucy XXX Pornstar Audrey Hollander in Hustler's Everybody Loves Lucy XXX

Porn star Kylee Reese in Hustler's Everybody Loves Lucy XXX Porn star Kylee Reese in Hustler's Everybody Loves Lucy XXX

Mikey Butders and replacing a popshot with a shotgun

Posted on August 10th, 2009 in Porn Movies by Gram

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Watch Mikey Butders movies on VOD | Watch Mikey Butders movies on DVD

Let’s start with pointing out that guys have the most difficult job in straight porn: not only do they have to remain hard for hours and come more or less on cue, but they also get paid less than their female counterparts and are saddled with the knowledge that, for the most part, the average porn consumer just doesn’t want to see them.

So the successful male performer, such as the genuinely nice Mikey Butders, has enough to deal with without getting shot in the face.

“This guy on a message board said he wanted to shoot me in the face with a shotgun,” said Butders on the set of Hustler’s upcoming This Ain’t Saved by the Bell XXX.

“A shotgun?”

“Yeah,” Butders said. “The guy just wanted to see the girl in the scene, I guess, and he got irritated that I was even there.”

Butders plays Slater in the porn parody opposite Scott Stone as Zack and the delicious Misty Stone, Missy Stone, Ashlyn Rae, and Ally Ann.

You know, at the same time that I kind of don’t want to see the guy, either, I like boy/girl scenes way better than I do solo scenes or girl/girl scenes. Straight male porn consumers must come to terms with the fact that other dudes are, at the very least, a necessary evil.

And not shoot them in the face with a shotgun. Sorry, Mikey Butders: you shouldn’t have to deal with that.

Oddly enough, I am making my way through the show “Lost” and, in early season 4, viewers are subjected to a cameo by the actor Jeremy Davies. Every time I’ve seen that guy he plays the same goddamn character, some ineffectual cringing thing. It is irritating.

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I know I am being intolerant, but when Davies showed up last night in “Lost” I unfortunately had the vocabulary to express my disappointment.

“I want to shoot that guy in the face with a shotgun.”

Meet Ashlyn Rae (but don’t let Daddy know)

Posted on August 6th, 2009 in Porn Movies,Porn People by Gram

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Buy Don’t Let Daddy Know 8 on DVD | Watch Don’t Let Daddy Know 8 on VOD

Ashlyn Rae is a very sweet, petite dubious redhead (when there is no carpet, we can’t verify if it matches the drapes) that we encountered on the set of Hustler’s new Saved by the Bell parody.

Ashlyn Rae

Rae has only made a handful of movies as of this writing, and only one of them features male involvement: Red Light District’s Don’t Let Daddy Know 8, which is her first boxcover. Unlike those porn milves who have never borne a child or porn schoolgirls who are actually functionally illiterate, Ms. Rae really does look like someone whose dad would be heartbroken if he found out what she gets up to, all 5’3″ of her.

Ashlyn Rae in Don't Let Daddy Know 8

In Hustler’s upcoming This Ain’t Saved By the Bell XXX, the virginal (for porn, anyway) Rae will play Kelly. She has never seen the original show and neither have I, so she will approach her job and I will mine with perfect openness.

Everything about Rae is adorable; I hope she doesn’t change a thing.

Click here to watch Ashlyn Rae movies