Boxcover of the week: The KLK brings her A-game (and D-cups) to “A List”

Posted on September 25th, 2009 in Boobs by gramponante

porn star Kagney Lynn Karter in Hustler's Busty Beautys - The A List
Get Hustler’s Busty Beauties: The A List

Oh, Kagney Linn Karter, you are so bewitching.

“Hustler’s Busty Beauties: The A List” might offend other busty beauties who suddenly wondered how they’d run afoul of Larry Flynt, but no one can find issue with putting the KLK on a boxcover or two.

Speaking of Two, KLK’s nipples are trying to hypnotize me.

Lest you think this movie brings in KLK as a ringer and then pads the rest of the flick with flat-chested talent, “A List” also features the boobtastic Sophie Dee, Audrey Bitoni, and Riley Evans.

Mikey Butders and replacing a popshot with a shotgun

Posted on August 10th, 2009 in Porn Movies by Gram

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Let’s start with pointing out that guys have the most difficult job in straight porn: not only do they have to remain hard for hours and come more or less on cue, but they also get paid less than their female counterparts and are saddled with the knowledge that, for the most part, the average porn consumer just doesn’t want to see them.

So the successful male performer, such as the genuinely nice Mikey Butders, has enough to deal with without getting shot in the face.

“This guy on a message board said he wanted to shoot me in the face with a shotgun,” said Butders on the set of Hustler’s upcoming This Ain’t Saved by the Bell XXX.

“A shotgun?”

“Yeah,” Butders said. “The guy just wanted to see the girl in the scene, I guess, and he got irritated that I was even there.”

Butders plays Slater in the porn parody opposite Scott Stone as Zack and the delicious Misty Stone, Missy Stone, Ashlyn Rae, and Ally Ann.

You know, at the same time that I kind of don’t want to see the guy, either, I like boy/girl scenes way better than I do solo scenes or girl/girl scenes. Straight male porn consumers must come to terms with the fact that other dudes are, at the very least, a necessary evil.

And not shoot them in the face with a shotgun. Sorry, Mikey Butders: you shouldn’t have to deal with that.

Oddly enough, I am making my way through the show “Lost” and, in early season 4, viewers are subjected to a cameo by the actor Jeremy Davies. Every time I’ve seen that guy he plays the same goddamn character, some ineffectual cringing thing. It is irritating.

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I know I am being intolerant, but when Davies showed up last night in “Lost” I unfortunately had the vocabulary to express my disappointment.

“I want to shoot that guy in the face with a shotgun.”

Meet Ashlyn Rae (but don’t let Daddy know)

Posted on August 6th, 2009 in Porn Movies,Porn People by Gram

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Buy Don’t Let Daddy Know 8 on DVD | Watch Don’t Let Daddy Know 8 on VOD

Ashlyn Rae is a very sweet, petite dubious redhead (when there is no carpet, we can’t verify if it matches the drapes) that we encountered on the set of Hustler’s new Saved by the Bell parody.

Ashlyn Rae

Rae has only made a handful of movies as of this writing, and only one of them features male involvement: Red Light District’s Don’t Let Daddy Know 8, which is her first boxcover. Unlike those porn milves who have never borne a child or porn schoolgirls who are actually functionally illiterate, Ms. Rae really does look like someone whose dad would be heartbroken if he found out what she gets up to, all 5’3″ of her.

Ashlyn Rae in Don't Let Daddy Know 8

In Hustler’s upcoming This Ain’t Saved By the Bell XXX, the virginal (for porn, anyway) Rae will play Kelly. She has never seen the original show and neither have I, so she will approach her job and I will mine with perfect openness.

Everything about Rae is adorable; I hope she doesn’t change a thing.

Click here to watch Ashlyn Rae movies

Larry Flynt is Ryder Skye’s Ace in the Hole

Posted on April 29th, 2009 in Hardcore,Porn Movies by Gram

Ryder Skye in Soul in the Hole
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The way Ryder Skye tells it, it sounds like she charmed Larry Flynt into a boxcover.

“I just wanted to meet Larry Flynt,” Skye said recently, and so I made a couple of calls to people I knew at Hustler and, after the (2009) AVN show, I got invited to his office.”

Just so you know, Larry Flynt doesn’t pop in on photo shoots and he doesn’t show up at Porn Star Karaoke; seeing Larry Flynt in his office at LFP’s Dark Tower on Wilshire Blvd. is the porn version of getting an audience with the Pope.

“So he was very charming and we talked about this and that,” Skye said, “and then he asked me if I’d ever worked for them before. So I rattled off a couple of things (such as “This Ain’t Gilligan’s Island XXX” and also a Van Styles scenes I had done more than a year ago that I hadn’t seen on video yet.”

Ryder Skye interracial

After some more pleasantries she left, and later heard from director Stylez that Flynt had placed a call about the movie’s whereabouts. Hustler has enough porn in its vaults to survive nuclear winter. If you thought ClubJenna and Vivid sat on their content for years, they’ve got nothing on Larry.

“Anyway, three weeks later Soul in the Hole comes out and I’m on the cover,” said Skye. “I’m as surprised as anybody.”

Claire Dames
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The interracially groovy “Soul in the Hole” also stars Claire Dames.

Did you bust a move on Larry?

“No, but he gave me a little kiss when I left,” Skye said. “It was very sweet, and I was a little star struck.”

See also: If Ryder Skye has you by the frenulum, watch your meringue

Porn Title of the Week: “Jugs of Authority”

Posted on April 15th, 2009 in Boobs,Porn Movies by Gram

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Buy Hustler’s Busty Beauties – Jugs of Authority on DVD

First, a short essay from Steve Martin (long before The New Yorker came calling):

SHE HAD THE JUGS

Yes, she was witty; she was intelligent. She was born of high station. She spoke and walked proudly. She was the kind who displayed nobility, who showed style and class. But above all, she had the jugs.

Busty Beauties

Many people called her by her last name; some closer friends had a confidence with her and shared the intimacy of her first name. But to me, she was always “Lady jugs a-plenty.”

It is true. She was clever and she was charming, but above all, she had the jugs.

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That is what I thought of when Hustler’s sloppy boobtastic Busty Beauties: Jugs of Authority arrived here at Gamelink South. Not only was I put in mind of something that delighted me as a teen (Steve Martin’s story) but also of something that delighted me always (big boobs and the danger of being broadsided by same).

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To the movie’s credit, there is no one in this movie who squeaks by with not-as-big boobs. Nor are there gargantuan screen-smearing boobs, either. Just healthy, pendulous cans parked on women who are in some sort of leadership position (most likely by virtue of their pendulous cans) like Jada Fire, Abbey Brooks, and Rachel Solari.

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Buy Hustler’s Busty Beauties – Jugs of Authority on DVD

My favorite scene was between Sascha and Violet Addamson, who I’ve never seen before and who utters the line “Let’s do it in the archives.”