Where Everybody Knows Joel Lawrence’s Name

Posted on September 15th, 2009 in Porn Movies by Gram

On the set of New Sensations Cheers An XXX Parody

Joel Lawrence has performed in about 1500 porn scenes since he got into the business in 1990 at age 26. His first appearance on Gamelink was 1993′s Guttman’s Paris Vacation, in which he costars with title character (of course) Ron Jeremy. (It’s odd to think that Jeremy has been playing a caricature of himself for 16 years).

Now Lawrence, who runs one of Porn Valley’s talent agencies and rarely performs, is playing Sam in New Sensations‘ upcomming Cheers: An XXX Parody opposite Mr. Pete as Woody, former Vivid girl Monique Alexander as Diane and, in some inspired casting, Evan Stone as Cliff.

But, like in another remake, Battlestar Galactica, Lawrence reminds us that “this has all happened before, and it will happen again.”

“I was in a Cheers parody in 1994,” Lawrence said on the set.

What was it called?

“I don’t remember.”

Porn performers rarely see their own movies (it’s not like the studio will courier one over once the DVD is pressed) and, with 1500 titles literally under his belt, Lawrence can be forgiven for not knowing the title. I can’t find any mention of it anywhere, either.

“But I played Woody and I think Herschel Savage was Sam,” Lawrence said.

Monique Alexander on the set of New Sensations Cheers - An XXX Parody

With the glut of porn parodies coming out – and New Sensations is releasing at least one a month – it is easy to forget that parodies have long been part of Porn Valley’s output. Still, appearing as two different characters in parodies of the same show 15 years apart is pretty impressive.

Maybe, in 2024, Lawrence will get to play Coach.

Sadie West would be a slippery slope if she weren’t wearing all that flannel

Posted on June 22nd, 2009 in Porn Movies by Gram

Sadie West - Sex in My PJs
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Now that I’m getting older (I’m, like, 19) I admit to being a little skeeved out when porn is marketed with all the props a reasonable person might associate with childhood: lollipops, pigtails, etc. But Sex in My PJs strangely enough, doesn’t make me feel creepy at all.

Maybe it’s because of the tiny vixen Sadie West and the fact that I know she’s a smoker…

Sadie West movie

… that I think less of jailable offenses than I do of women in the freshman dorm who, still clinging desperately to home, continued to wear pajamas almost until Thanksgiving.

Sadie West sex

Kudos to New Sensations for keeping pajamas on, or at least near, Sadie West throughout her scene, in which her cold is cured the old-fashioned way.

A Shot to the Mouth – and you’re to blame

Posted on May 8th, 2009 in Porn Movies by Gram

cumshot movie
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“Boy, that sure sounds like a porn movie,” I said when I received A Shot to the Mouth — a movie featuring 80 oral cumshots and which features a bejizmed Ashlynn Brooke on the cover. “But it probably isn’t, since millennial culture tells us to doubt the obvious.”

Instead, I reasoned, it was probably some gritty neo-noir about the boxing industry, like “The Wrestler.”

But no, my rational self countered, it came in a box with a bunch of other porn movies. It’s probably a porn movie itself.

“No way, Dude,” I said, “A title like Shot to the Mouth is too on the nose – or all over the mouth – for a porn movie. It’s probably some Michael Moore wakeup call about the commercial dentistry.”

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I guess all these thoughtful, brainy porns like “Dirtpipe Milkshakes” and anything with Madison Young in have made me doubt myself.

Because yes, A Shot in the Mouth is a porn movie about women gettting jizz bombs dumped on them.

(And I must say it is pretty great. With each scene clocking in at around two minutes with nothing but what led directly to the money shot, each segment is, pardon the expression, the cream of the movie it was taken from.)

Go figure.

Boxcover of the Week: “I <3 Redheads”

Posted on May 6th, 2009 in Porn Movies by Gram

loveredheads
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The genius of porn is that you can look at this photo of Scarlett Fay and immediately suspend at least four very compelling questions that might, if they were posed to someone without her boobs out, be cause for her termination as your housekeeper:

1. Why is she sitting on a table?
2. Why the high heels on that ratty frathouse-looking rug?
3. Anybody clean those blinds lately?
4. Did she forget how to put on her pants?

But Scarlett Fay just looks so accessible up there on that rickety table we got from your grandmother that I’m going to ask you to bring the rest of the groceries in while I see if her ass makes a tupperware sound when it makes it all of the way out of these jeans.

Browse more Scarlett Fay movies @ Gamelink

Two Reasons to Watch – Plus Some Porn Stars

Posted on March 20th, 2009 in Porn Movies,Pornstars by admin

In an event some around the office are calling “miraculous” and “impossible to believe”, two funny porn comedies landed on my desk this week. They are New Sensations’ The Office – A XXX Parody and Wicked’s Whack Job. I can’t reveal why they are funny, but I can show you pictures of two of the funniest moments and then you can go see for yourself. Of course, you are also going to want to see some naked people fucking, so to entice you, I will also show you some pictures of naked people fucking. Can you guess what is happening in this picture from Whack Job, or why it’s funny?

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Probably not, but to soothe you, here is a picture of Roxy DeVille about to be penetrated by Tommy Gunn. This isn’t funny.

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It’s a little more likely that you could guess what is happening in this frame from The Office

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But if you can’t, soothe your thinking bone with another picture of fucking – this time it’s Faye Reagan going after Gianna Michaels with a strapon and a big dildo.

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Now go and watch the whole thing. Both of them.