Renowned teasemaster B. Skow, Vivid enfant terrible, presents his newest teasemaster-work, Going Deep, a tease movie that will tease your, uh, teasebone – until you just can’t be teased no more.

Except, when I was growing up, I heard about teasing, and it involved a lot less in the way of orgasms and facials and dripping cumshots than, for instance, this scene with Savanna Samson.

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Or this one, in which Tanya James totally lies back and lets Voodoo – lucky Voodoo – do that hoodoo that he do do so often. In my day, a tease just would not let you get this far.

Is there some interpretation I am not understanding of what a tease is? Hilo is clearly not letting Alex Gonz go home with his hardon, which is what I thought that was all about. What am I missing here?

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I have been to my share of stripteases – some would say more than my share, but I don’t know how one calculates one’s fair allotment of these things – and I have to say that very few of them have ended like Meggan Mallone’s does in B. Skow’s new movie.

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Maybe I am just not going to the right places for my stripteases. Maybe high-class joints with high-class broads like Meggan Mallone let you have sex with the girls when they’re done taking their clothes off, and I have been frequenting the cheap places that just make you leave when you run out of money, instead of offering you a blowjob.

I’m not sure exactly where Striptease was filmed, but it’s a Vivid movie, so it was probably made where the rest of the Vivid movies are all made. I guess LA really is the place where the action all happens. I gotta get a U-Haul and get outta this low-end town.

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That’s pretty much all I’ve got. “Penny Flame is in my ears and in my eyes.”

See, in the porn world you can create an entire movie based on what sounds, at least for the five seconds it takes to say it, like a cool title.

Then, when you realize that a Beatles reference can’t sustain an entire porn movie, nor would many people buy a movie (at least off a reputable site like Gamelink) featuring even the delightful Penny Flame putting things in people’s ears and eyes, you suddenly regret the 10,000 boxcovers you ordered.

Here’s a selection of Penny Flame images from Penny Flame’s recent handjob movie for Vivid as well as “Into the Sunset,” in which Flame handles the pool boy for a retiring Sunset Thomas.

It’s an odd world we live in where “Let’s Make Penny Flame’s Boobs Shake While We Rail Her” would sell more than “Penny Flame Is In My Ears And In My Eyes.”

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Page Morgan and Chapel Waste from Vivid’s King Cobra.

I do not love them as much as I love Mandy Morbid, but i crave them in a different way.

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